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Friday, September 4, 2015

Plug along after the high

And the high has worn off. 
No. Not that high. Where's your mind?
I'm talking about two of my articles being published. 
The last six articles I submitted to The Mix have been rejected. 
"No big deal," I told myself over the first two. "Those were crap anyway."
The next two, I said, "I can see why they didn't bother."
The last two, I cursed under my breath. They were good, but obviously not good enough. 
My eyes are blurry from reading other articles that were accepted and published. Blurry because I don't feel they were as well written. 
Sigh. 
Plug along, as my dad always says. 
Plenty more work out there to be had. 

On that train of thought, I'll share with you one article that was rejected. 
It's not original, by any means, but I used a letter format for the subject, "I unfollowed you because of how annoying you are on social media." 
Enjoy!

Dear Facebook friend,
Your cryptic and attention-seeking messages are annoying.Please stop.You won't? I'll pull your hair out for you, as per your post. Better yet, maybe I'll shove those baked goods in your face for you after you've debated for 10 posts whether to eat them.No. These would be favors.I'll unfollow your wall instead. Whew, that's better. My feed is much less cluttered now.The constant barrage of your insane need for attention is mind-boggling.It's cool that you post a good recipe once in awhile, or a picture of your cute child doing something hilarious.But, for the love of chocolate, let's stop posting messages like, "feeling sad :(" or "Can't take this anymore" when you likely made the choices causing your issues.It's tiring watching the posts gather 10 or 15 comments asking whether you're OK and offering all kinds of help just for you to say, "Thanks for all the support" or "Oh everything is fine now, just had a moment."Further, your picture posts in between these cryptic ones saying you don't care what others think of you are ridiculous. Are you passively trying to tell someone off? Or do you need to justify every little post you make?I don't know, but I wish you'd stop.Also, posting a play-by-play of what you do each day is unnecessary. Each tiny little task you do is no one's business but your own. I don't care if you child cracked the door to ask you a questions while you pee. I don't care if you had to wait in line for the bathroom at work only to find it disgustingly demolished by the previous user. I don't care if your spouse ignored your plans ... again ... leaving you at home with the kids.Millions of us never get to have any plans in the evening because we are happy to be at home with our families.I do care if you, say, burn your hand somehow and are at the emergency room. However, please don't post something like, "Ouch. We'll see how this goes" an add a photo of the ER sign.I do care if your spouse has an illness and is sick at home after a long day of therapy and treatments. But please, don't play the martyr and post how tired you are after caring for the person you vowed to care for.This type of attention-seeking behavior is frustrating. If you need attention that badly, please find your circle of friends and visit with them.Better yet, find yourself a shrink. He could at least give you direction in how to cope with whatever it is that causes you to seek this much attention.But for crying in the mud, don't seek it from strangers who could very well view your post, figure out where you live and then burgle your house while you're complaining via social media about your self-inflicted wound or how hard it is to care for your loved ones.Reading your unwanted posts has become a plague on my daily life. I find myself irritated more often as I get sucked into your page reading about your latest ridiculous life actions. I feel my face contort into the expression of, "What. The. Beep."Then I realize, "Wait! I DO have another option!"I love that unfollow button. It allows me to choose when I see your feed. It's been fantastic. I've been able to keep up with events in your life I care about, and ignore your righteous complaints about how hard life is otherwise.Good luck on your future need for attention. On social media, you'll likely keep finding it, just not from me.Your friend,Anna

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