"I am alive and kicking"

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Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Forgive, but learn

Intent is all well and good, as long as you follow through.
"I intended to do my homework, but I didn't." 
Throughtout life, I've intended to be more understanding, more helpful, more forgiving. It's hard to be any of those things when I often lose sight of anything but the juggling act of doing things for other people and making my family happy.
Two weeks ago, I wrote about ordering a token from MyIntent.org
I received the token late last week, imprinted with my chosen word: 
FORGIVE

This token now resides on my keychain. I see it every day, and it keeps me mindful
of letting go of my toxic attitude and remembering I am worth something. (Photo by Anna Jauhola)
Why did I choose this word? 
My life has seemingly been filled with failure after failure, with various people reminding me of these failures in different ways. 

I am my biggest obstacle.

When life doesn't go according to plan, I completely blame myself, which can have negative impacts on those around me. 
In recent years, forgiveness has played a large role in releasing guilt I should never have felt. 
But forgiveness is a lot more difficult than most can imagine, particularly for oneself. I anguish daily for the mistakes I've made in life, rather than focusing on the triumphs and joys I've found in being a mother, a wife and a writer. 
So, my word FORGIVE is to remind myself that I am good enough, I am strong and that everyone makes mistakes. Forgiving those mistakes gives me worth and creates my strength. 
My intent is to make sure the word "forgive" stays in my mind and that I use it often for myself, and for others - for to give ourselves a break from anger and resentment will help create a better world. 

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