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Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Post-nasal drip


Severe head colds can cause you have have revelations that later turn out to be drug or lack-of-sleep induced idiocies.
My state of mind Monday inspired this blog post.
I blew my nose so much yesterday that it is now red and chapped, and looks like I've snorted God only knows what. I didn't, I swear. I just am too cheap to buy aloe-infused tissues. Instead I use toilet paper that feels more like sandpaper to blow my nose. Because of that, my snot often runs out the sides of the paper when I blow, overflowing onto my hands, thus lending to embarrassment in public.
Did you know snutophobophobia is the fear of blowing your nose?
I've never been afraid of blowing my nose, I just don't like doing it, particularly in front of people. But, every time I get a cold, it seems I'm always stuck at work or in a public place, and it's just impractical to get up every five seconds to blow my nose in private.
It's never just a stuffy-head type of cold. It's the full-blown runny snot that dribbles out without warning -- inevitably leaving spots on my shirt. That was my morning yesterday, but thankfully my boss is more than understanding and we chuckled about it.
In a sad attempt to get some rest between work and picking up my son from school, I drove the 10 miles to get home and felt like I barely made it. Normally, driving is one of my favorite things to do. But that 10-mile trek felt more like a trip through a hall of mirrors.
A sandwich and chips perked me up enough to get back to town in one piece, wearing pajamas nonetheless. As I waited for the school bell to ring, my nose seemingly cooperated. Then one minute prior to the end of school with the hall full of parents, it said, "Oh wait, you're in public? Take that!" and it let out a stream of runny mucus. And me without any tissues, aloe-infused or otherwise.
So I used my shirt. Not my finest moment.
After another drive through that hall of mirrors, which was actually twice as worse this time around, I settled on the couch while my son played outside. He was then gracious enough to let me lay down for two hours until supper.
I woke up to him whispering, "Mom, it's time to get up in the morning!" which is our usual greeting any time we get up from sleeping. Begrudgingly, I rolled out from my cocoon and began to shiver -- great, I had the chills. By bedtime, I was sure I had a fever and naturally took a burning hot shower to warm up. Because that makes sense.
At any rate, my nose had stopped running and my clean pajamas remained unstained. And today, my drive into town was much more enjoyable.

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